From Infatuation To Relationships To Courting… How Can You Teach The Importance Of Love Of Oneself?
Love is a very strong emotion for teens. They fall in love this day, and out of love the next. This person is “the one”, but as it turns out they weren’t… Or they had feelings for someone, but they were unrequited. It’s the season of discovering their identity which makes this season so tumultuous and turbulent.
Parents often find themselves in the throws of what appears to be irrational thinking, emotional highs/lows, and angry outbursts. Parents frequently hear, “I hate you”, “You don’t love me.” or “You’re ruining my life” fired from their child’s mouth. Sometimes finding the source of angry outbursts and the ever-popular “argh” can become challenging.
Yet to make it through those teenage years, we must teach our kids about Christ’s love and the importance of it. We are in a society that places such a high emphasis on dating and being a couple that youth often derive their self-worth from others.
When we derive our self-worth and define ourselves by other’s perceptions, we begin to accumulate unnecessary baggage. We can take on titles of things that God does not say we are, and end up battling the results for a lifetime- in some cases.
Teens must be taught- first and foremost- who they are in Christ. When they have internalized that they serve a God who loves them, has made them special, that they have gifts and talents, and that they are blessed, it makes other people’s perceptions less significant. It also means that they aren’t easy prey, either.
Those who have a low self-worth, and who are easily defined by others fall prey to people who treat them badly or take advantage of them. It is easy for a controlling/manipulative person to swoop in and woo your child. Abusers don’t begin as abusive. In fact, most are quite charming.
But the charm eventually wears off. Those who have low self-esteem find themselves feeling like this person makes them feel special, and by the time the “honeymoon” stage it over, and the true colors show… It’s too late. They find the relationship hard to get out of, and their self-esteem takes an even bigger hit.
It’s not to say that people with low self-esteem are easier targets for those with behavioural issues. Controlling personalities can wear down confident people as well. However, when your child is grounded in their identity in Christ, the “prey” become easier to spot. This is mostly because their spirit will bear witness to the fact that something isn’t quite right with the relationship. God will also protect them from harm.
Shawn Robinson discusses how to teach your teen who they are in Christ, and the importance of it. He will discuss why they should be taught this before they are even in a relationship, and the benefits that it will have in developing a healthy relationship. He will also discuss the effects of those who don’t know who they are in Christ, and how many of them struggle with the concept of love and fear of abandonment.
Our next issue will be coming out on March 26, 2019.